cordyssa my beloved

[paper-mario-wiki]

[kamoi]

this is the worst image i’ve ever seen

[carnival-phantasm]

The last thing you wããnt in your tumblr dashboard is another Loss joke…but as it turns out, that might be what you gãæt

[anem0nesiac]

[trilllizard666]

before talkin shit on straight men maybe try talking to some for a period of more than five minutes at a time cause all y’all treat straight men on this website like incels treat women

[snoopingasusualisee]

Kung pow penis

[not-semi-perfect]

What did that add to the convo.

[snoopingasusualisee]

[trilllizard666]

i’m going to block everyone that reblogs this version of this post from snoopingasusualisee that i find, fyi

[rosemary-the-skunk]

kung pow penis

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Conkdor

Debut: Super Mario 3D World

Someone call the fashion police, because I think they’ve found their new chief! Conkdor’s outfit is both stylish and practical. Shades to protect its eyes in the desert, a spiky shell to protect itself from stomps, all wrapped up with a striking color scheme? Flawless. I don’t know what useful purpose the neck frill serves, but Conkdor needs no reason to accessorize. Look how shiny that beak is… does Conkdor get it POLISHED? And don’t even get me started on that haircut! Greg Heffley who?

I really love the fact that it has a shell in the first place. Is it just wearing one? Is it natural? Is it actually an extremely weird turtle? The missing link between turtles and birds?! (Here’s a fun fact! The top part of a turtle’s shell is called the carapace, and the bottom part is the plastron! Another fun fact is that “plastron” is a cool word. It’s scientifically proven.)

It’s possible to knock of Conkdor’s glasses by tapping it on the Gamepad. But don’t do that. That’s rude.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Brickman

Debut: Mario vs. Donkey Kong

Ohoho, what do we have here? Quite possibly the definition of an “eyes in a dark void” enemy! Brickman appears in the GBA Mario vs. DK, where he constantly drops bricks towards you. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it, though. 

This is where Mario’s handstand move comes in handy! If you do a handstand, the bricks will bounce off you harmlessly… somehow. I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works in real life. I don’t want a brick dropping on me, no matter which way I’m facing, thank you very much!

Here’s some food for thought: Is Brickman made of bricks, or just hiding in them? His name would seem to imply the former… but there must be something behind those eyes! 

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Penny

Debut: Hotel Mario

If you’re well-versed in Hotel Mario cutscenes, as I am, you may be familiar with this line spoken by Mario: “Be careful! When you pinch Wendy’s Pennies, they pinch back!” Imagine my surprise to discover that this line refers to an enemy! Well, they don’t have any hands for pinching, but still.

Pennies appear in Wendy’s Blitz Snarlton Hotel, where they’ll disguise themselves as coins… though not very well, it seems. It almost seems like an idea you’d see in a modern game, huh?

Now we just need Chip and Used Napkin, and the whole gang will be complete!

[bogleech]

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Sockop

Debut: Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

“I’m whatcha call a discriminating chugger. I only chug the best.” -a Sockop

Oh, happy day! Oh, joyous, momentous occasion! Despite what this blog may make you think, most Mario enemies are not designed for in-depth physiological analysis. But this one is! Oh, goody!

As you can see, Sockops look like socks with feet and eyes. That hole on top makes them immediately counter any jumping attack, and they use a honey-like substance to telegraph their own attacks. This is already more than enough to be an amazing enemy! But this game is incredibly generous, and decides to give them their own part in the story, and boy, we learn a lot!

At one point in Dimble Wood, Luigi must squash Mario with a hammer so that he can enter a small passage. But oopsies! Mario gets eaten by a Sockop and taken away, and now it’s up to Luigi to save the day! This Sockop hops into a huge one, and Luigi follows, and then we see what they’re like on the inside!

Sockops are not just living socks. They’re carnivorous plants! Like a waddling pitcher plant, to be specific. A “mouth” on top, “teeth” pointed inward to prevent prey from escaping, and that’s not honey-it’s digestive juice! And for some reason, the one that captured Mario hops right into the stomach acid of the big one. Do they exist only to feed their queen?! Luigi is able to rupture the big one’s digestive sac and free Mario, but the Sockop itself gets knocked out and shrinks, and Luigi is trapped…

But that’s okay! Because now he gets to walk around in its unconscious body! And talk to other Sockops! They love talking about chugging things. Chugging red things, chugging shappy green things (rude!), chugging whatever they can.

Also, maybe you’ve noticed they also resemble Kuribo’s Shoe from Super Mario Bros. 3. That’s no coincidence! In the Sockop, Luigi can walk on thorns safely, and one is even named Kuribo! He’s a hog, though. Wanting to chug both Mario and Luigi while already chugging a block! We all know people like that. Biting off more than they can chug.

[bogleech]

oh no

why have I still not played this game

[glutko]

[glutko]

Broke: The CD-i Zelda games aren’t canon because Aonuma/Nintendo said so

Woke: The CD-i Zelda games aren’t canon because there’s evidence to suggest that they take place on our Earth instead of Hyrule

[glutko]

Ready to have your mind blown? (God, I sound so dumb.)

Buddha makes an appearance in the Shrine of Gamelon.

A painting of a book of hours page is in somebody’s house - specifically, the month October from the Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry, made throughout the early parts of the 15th century.

Finally, there’s a portrait of King Henry VIII in Dodomai Palace. Due to its low quality, I can’t identify which one it is, but the original painting (and several variants) were made in the 1530s and 1540s.

There’s several more portraits in the Palace, including one near the bottom, but I haven’t identified it yet.

So, yeah. At the very least, the games happened in the 16th century.

[bogleech]

I don’t keep up with Pokemon’s competitive scene and had no idea that thanks to Shadow Tag, Gothitelle can help wreck entire teams of god beasts in the topmost tiers and there’s ongoing debate about banning it completely, even banning Gothita with eviolite.  Good for you, Gothitelle!

[anem0nesiac]

[spitblaze]

[anem0nesiac]

[captionedkirby]

the fuck are you saying waddle doo

[firekill1015]

[cishetacesarelgbt]

Just a doodle relating to some of the hate I’ve gotten on this website.

[antifabobross]

[buggirl]

Winner for biggest dork (besides me) in the Amazon goes to….the jumping stick
What goofy looking animals they are!

Jatun Sacha, Ecuador