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Scientists Discover The Third Late Night Talk Show Jimmy

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Anthropologist professor Doug Cooper uncovered the Jimmy while excavating the dig site of some ancient Roman ruins in eastern Turkey. “When we found him, he was in a dormant state due to being badly broken apart in about three hundred individual pieces, but after we put him back together, he immediately sprung back to life and started going on about the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie,” Cooper explains. “We’re calling him Jimmy Tertius for now.”

CBS executive Leslie Moonves is reportedly in the process of acquiring this third Jimmy as an asset to compete with other late night talk show Jimmies.

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1960 - An eight year old Shigeru Miyamoto, while exploring the vast network of caves behind his house, happens upon a friendly pig spirit that he murders with a sword before stealing its triangles. Later in life, Miyamoto would reflect on this incident fondly, and name it as one of the precious moments of childlike wonder and discovery he strove to recreate in his games.

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